Foundation

It is hard to shake what you were taught as a child. You do not know anything after all, so you take what you are given and build everything upon it. As you start to think for yourself, it is easy to keep layering and just toss out new things which do not fit. It is scary to take a look at your foundation. What if you find cracks? What if you find everything needs to be uprooted entirely and reformed?

Some of the things I was taught: God made everything, God made you, God loves you. These have been comforting axioms throughout my life, though I often muddle them with superfluous conditional theories. On occasion, I have examined these axioms and considered what it would be like to live without them. It is not impossible. But the world becomes bleak for me.

The kids I grew up with among the rice paddies of Northern Thailand were taught different things. Good begets good, bad begets bad. Karma. Consequences. Parallel thoughts to some of my lessons. They were also taught spirits preside over the fields, the river, the village, their house. They were taught to respect the spirits, give them tribute, or else the spirits might take offense. And an angry spirit will visit all manner of misfortune upon you, even physical harm or death. Fear the spirits.

Some dismiss spirits and gods as fantasy. But to those who believe, they are real. When I examine my foundation and compare it to other alternatives, the more I feel compelled to keep it. Even when I am suspicious of it because it is what I have had since childhood. Fearful appeasement and cold reality do not appeal to me. But a creation woven throughout with the energy of love? For me, that is a worthwhile foundation to build upon.